Continuation of my 내가 원하는 것 post
Long short story aku sering ngobrol ama ini kakak kelas SMA tentang berbagai macam hal. Salah satunya love. My PoV about love ya more or less kayak yang aku tulis sebelumnya. That’s the best way I can explain it in words. I’m looking for someone who is bucin of me
Trus si kakak kelas SMA ini rekomen aku novel Haruki Murakami – Norwegian Wood (1987). Katanya salah satu karakter cewenya ada yang bilang hal yang sama kayak yang aku bilang
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“Just once, I wanted to know what it was like to get my fill of it – to be fed so much love I couldn’t take any more. Just once. But they never gave that to me. Never, not once. If I tried to cuddle up and beg for something, they’d just shove me away and yell at me. ‘No! That costs too much!’ It’s all I ever heard. So I made up my mind I was going to find someone who would love me unconditionally 365 days a year. I was still in primary school at the time, but I made up my mind once and for all.”
….
“No, even I know better than that. I’m looking for selfishness. Perfect selfishness. Like, say I tell you I want to eat strawberry shortbread. And you stop everything you’re doing and run out and buy it for me. And you come back out of breath and get down on your knees and hold this strawberry shortbread out to me. And I say I don’t want it any more and throw it out of the window. That’s what I’m looking for.”
“I’m not sure that has anything to do with love,” I said with some amazement.
“It does,” she said. “You just don’t know it. There are times in a girl’s life when things like that are incredibly important.”
“Things like throwing strawberry shortbread out of the window?”
“Exactly. And when I do it, I want the man to apologize to me. ‘Now I see, Midori. What a fool I’ve been! I should have known that you would lose your desire for strawberry shortbread. I have all the intelligence and sensitivity of a piece of donkey shit. To make it up to you, I’ll go out and buy you something else. What would you like? Chocolate mousse? Cheesecake?’”
“So then what?”
“So then I’d give him all the love he deserves for what he’s done.”
“Sounds crazy to me.”
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Freaking crazy right? Tapi itu exactly what I’m feeling hahahahahaha. Baru kali ini aku menemukan line yang benar2 menggambarkan perasaan gila ini.
Tapi kayak yang si cewek itu bilang – I’d give him all the love he deserves for what he’s done. Yup, I can be equally/more bucin than you can expect, if you give me the love I wanted. I’m the type who can throw away everything just to please you. But nah, don’t think I’ve met someone who is capable to give me that much love I want
But back again – I’m a grounded realist who knows where’s my place. Just like grammar (이)라도 in Korean – I’d settle for anything….. Not the best but the better than nothing. https://www.howtostudykorean.com/unit-5/lessons-109-116/lesson-111/
Daytime Something Story 